Supposedly my buddy went to Dim Sum and is sitting on his couch with a belly full of fried taro dumplings, pork buns, potstickers, and jasmine tea. Supposedly he's watching the Lakers last gasp for postseason air as they limp towards one of the most disappointing seasons in NBA history. Supposedly he's got 2 Zyns perfectly parked in his upper lip ever so gracefully taking the edge off. Supposedly he's under a comfortable avocado print blanket. Supposedly he's coming off 2 straight years of the best college basketball games he's ever seen. Supposedly it's not even my buddy. Supposedly it's me.
Duke/UNC delivered yet again! I keep seeing folks saying how surprised they are that last night exceeded expectations. I don't comprehend that sentiment. Are they not aware of the Jeff Capel shot? Are they unfamiliar with Danny Green mushroom stamping Greg Paulus? Are they blind to the Austin Rivers dagger? Are they oblivious to Gerald Henderson caving in Tyler Hansbrough's face? Did they forget the fact that 2 titles were shared on Tobacco Road between 2015 and 2017? Were they born the day after UNC crashed Coach K's final home game and destroyed the place like The Peaky Blinders? Why was this game shocking to them? The greatest rivalry sports has ever seen was always going to yield an all time game.
I have to admit something. I'm a con man. A fraud. A cheat. No better than Elizabeth Holmes or Ken Lay or Frank Abagnale. I claim to know theater and college hoops. In fact, I host a podcast called Theater In College Hoops. Meanwhile my fiance is poised for her second straight top 5 finish in The Shark's bracket and I'm sitting in the cellar. I stay up til midnight watching Big West games between teams that have 10 combined wins and she couldn't identify Lew Alcindor.
I said Duke would beat UNC strictly based off storyline. In what world does Coach K and Duke get a shot at redemption against their nemesis in the Final 4? How can Duke get this golden opportunity to avenge that loss in Cameron and lose? No shot it happens, right? Well it did. I said I felt for Tar Heel fans because they were going to lose in the Final 4 and the Cameron game would become a footnote in the long term. I was wrong. UNC one upped Duke forever. There is no coming back from this. Duke can win every game against UNC for the next 15 years and the Tar Heel response should be "yeah, but remember the 2021-2022 season?" It is the ultimate trump card. The all time Joker card in the all time rivalry.
The game was sublime. Haymakers left and right. Nearly 20 lead changes. Huge shot making. Grit and toughness personified in Armando Bacot. Caleb Love emerging as a UNC legend with a shot that will live in Tar Heel lore forever. Gut wrenching missed free throws from Mark Williams. A stark dichotomy and head to head matchup between a freshman lottery pick from the Pacific Northwest and a weathered graduate transfer from Oklahoma. Last but not least, the exit of a legend at the hands of a first year head coach. The game had everything you wanted and more because the stakes couldn't be higher unless it was played on the first Monday in April.
You know what put this game over the top though? It was The Shark's Guster tweet that went viral. We were all locked into the game when all of a sudden his phone starts buzzing like a wasp's nest. Guys like Seth Mandel, Sam Vecenie and Jeff Goodman picked it up. Random Guster fans came to the aid of their favorite band calling The Shark a miserable hack. The culprit himself, Matt Norlander, acknowledged it. Norlander's brother came to his defense. Even Guster themselves had something to say! The Shark put a charge into college basketball twitter when we were already on full tilt. We were monitoring the runs while also seeing who wanted Shark's head put on a spike in the town square. Just a magical evening of my two favorite things: College hoops and twitter. I genuinely don't believe that happens if the game isn't Duke/UNC. The greatest rivalry ever.
Ohio State/Michigan would have been 33-10 at halftime, not a 3 point difference. Yankees/Red Sox probably would have been a 3 hour snoozefest in the 6th inning. The Packers probably would have been playing Jordan Love at this juncture of the game against the Bears. The only other rivalry that I'll have a conversation about is Auburn/Alabama. But again, there are no more frequent moments, championships, characters, legends and tight games than Duke/UNC. I say this now but I almost don't even care about UNC/Kansas.
I mentioned the Duke fans but what about the UNC fans? Well, you can't ask for anything more. I see people saying "wellll they still need to win the title game!" No they don't. They have more titles than Duke and their latest came in 2017. This will be their 3rd title game appearance in 6 years. More than America's darling, Gonzaga. If they lose, who cares? They're an 8 seed going up against a 1. They unequivocally ended Coach K forever. They forever own the upper hand as it pertains to shit talk. UNC fans will not face a shred of scrutiny or slander. For Duke fans that may want to try and two step if they lose... don't. Just go into hiding until next year.
With that said, this UNC team is more dangerous than a bender in Vegas. Why can't they beat Kansas? Why can't they win the whole thing? They beat the defending champs. They took Duke's best shot and after being down 7 in a critical juncture, rattled off 11 straight points before you could say Luke Maye. Despite the struggles in January and February, despite the embarrassing loss in Chapel Hill to Pitt this was a picture perfect season for the Heels no matter what happens on Monday night. I mentioned there is no worse foxhole than the one located in West Lafayette. Well outside of maybe Villanova, there's no better team to root for right now than UNC.
This was a game I will never forget. I said it ranked #2 behind the Zags/UCLA Final 4 game from last year but I'm open to being swayed. Zags/UCLA had a perfect season on the line, an overtime game, an 11 seed and a half court buzzer beating shot. But there were no fans. Jalen Suggs was celebrating with his team and the media members. That's it. Duke/UNC had the rivalry, the Coach K storyline, the fans and it was a highly competitive game of hoop. Like I said, I'm open to adjusting, but right now I give the very slight edge to Zags/UCLA.
Regardless, this was an all time game and an all time night for me. The Shark had a coworker who once said "Never had more and wanted less." Just a preposterous quote. Doesn't make a ton of sense if you really think about it but there's beauty in that line. If you stare at it long enough it will resonate. That's how I felt last night.
So au revoir, sayonara and bon voyage to Coach K. Incredible career that is second to none. I understand getting the jokes off but if we're being honest with ourselves, it's because we're all mostly jealous of their success. There's other reasons that go deeper for sure but at the end of the day, we hate Duke because of their wins, attitude and players. They beat teams that America loved like Michigan, UNLV, Arizona and Wisconsin. They had guys like Christian Laettner literally doing an Irish jig on players chests. They had poets like JJ Redick shooting like Steph Curry before there was a Steph Curry. The most egregious of all- they slapped the floor in an effort to turn up the heat. It was the absolute worst because they were the absolute best.
UNC fans hate Duke. There's so much vitriol in a Heels heart as it pertains to them. When you mention the Blue Devils they become rabid and malicious. But they delivered the kill shot to their rival not because of their hatred, vitriol or malice. Quite the opposite actually: it was North Carolina's Love that finished it once and for all.
